Parenthood as a Leadership Blueprint

Parenting is one of life’s most significant challenges and rewards, and I’ve often found that it mirrors the dynamics of navigating complex, ambiguous organizations. Over the years, being a parent has taught me invaluable lessons about resilience, empathy, and decision-making that I’ve carried into my professional life. Raising a child has deepened my understanding of ambiguity and provided a framework for thriving within it.

Parallels Between Parenting and Leadership

• Embrace Organizational Complexity as a Design Challenge

  Just as families are inherently messy and unpredictable, organizations operate in a state of constant flux. Competing priorities, shifting dynamics, and unforeseen challenges are part of the terrain. Parenting taught me to embrace these complexities, viewing them as opportunities to design solutions rather than barriers. For example, when my child throws an unexpected tantrum, I’ve learned to pause and understand the "why" behind her behavior. Similarly, digging deeper into the root causes of ambiguous organizational situations—a misaligned strategy or unclear communication—can pave the way for creative problem-solving.

• Change Is a Process—Leaders Are Guides, Not Dictators

  Parenting reinforced the idea that meaningful change takes time. Helping a child learn new behaviors or develop independence is not about enforcing strict rules but about providing guidance and structure while allowing space for growth. This principle applies directly to organizational leadership. As Brené Brown writes in Dare to Lead, "Clear is kind." Being transparent about expectations and patient with the pace of progress fosters trust and resilience, whether with a team or a child.

• Identify Norms Before Driving Change

  Every family has rhythms and rituals, just as every organization has established norms and culture. Parenting taught me the importance of understanding these baselines before implementing change. For instance, when my child resists bedtime, I’ve learned to recognize whether it’s a sign of genuine discomfort or a phase. The same principle applies in organizations: understanding what constitutes "normal" allows leaders to differentiate between noise and real issues. This perspective can prevent overreacting to minor disruptions and helps focus energy on driving meaningful improvements.

• The Grass Isn’t Always Greener—Build Where You Are

  Parenting has taught me the value of staying present and investing in my relationships. When challenges arise, it’s tempting to compare myself to other parents or wish for an easier path. Do I dream of leaving sometimes? Sure, what parent doesn’t want a quiet weekend? However, the most meaningful growth comes from working through difficulties together as a family.

  This lesson translates directly to organizational life. Building trust and collaboration within a team or organization often requires staying the course and working through ambiguity. While opportunities elsewhere may seem appealing, there’s value in cultivating resilience and fostering a shared vision where you are.

Strategies for Navigating Uncertainty

• Focus on What You Can Control

  In parenting and leadership, anchoring yourself in tangible, actionable steps—aligning priorities or modeling empathy—can create clarity amidst uncertainty. In parenting, this might mean setting small, achievable goals for your child, such as encouraging them to focus on tidying one section of their room rather than tackling the entire space simultaneously. For example, when my child was overwhelmed by a large school project, we broke it into smaller tasks, creating a checklist with specific milestones. This helped her manage the workload and boosted her confidence with each completed step.

  This approach translates to setting clear short-term objectives when long-term strategies are in flux or ensuring your team has well-defined roles during a re-org. For example, during a particularly ambiguous project, I initiated weekly check-ins to clarify immediate priorities and encouraged my team to break tasks into manageable milestones. Similar to the parenting example, these small but concrete actions provided a sense of progress and stability in an otherwise uncertain environment.

  Research supports this method. James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, states, "Success is the product of daily habits—not once-in-a-lifetime transformations." Parents and leaders can build momentum and create clarity amidst ambiguity by focusing on small, actionable steps.

• Build Relationships

  Strong connections within a family or team provide a foundation for navigating complexity. Investing in trust and open communication is invaluable. In parenting, this might mean taking time to understand each child's unique needs and perspectives and fostering an environment where they feel safe to express themselves. For example, I set aside regular "one-on-one" time with my child to discuss her thoughts and feelings, strengthening our relationship and building mutual trust.

  This translates to going beyond transactional interactions to cultivate authentic relationships with colleagues and stakeholders in the workplace. Regular one-on-one check-ins with team members provide opportunities for open dialogue and alignment. As Simon Sinek highlights in Leaders Eat Last, "The courage to put relationships first and prioritize trust allows leaders to build environments where collaboration thrives." Additionally, fostering a culture of collaboration through practices like cross-functional workshops or feedback sessions can create support networks during times of uncertainty. Listening to colleagues’ concerns and responding with empathy further builds trust, a critical asset for navigating ambiguity effectively.

• Practice Psychological Safety

  Create environments where team members feel safe to express concerns and ideas. In parenting, this might look like encouraging your child to share their feelings without fear of judgment. For instance, when my child struggled to express frustration, I created "chitty chatty time," where she could speak freely without fear of reprimand. She knew that I would listen without judgment and that no matter what she shared, there would be no negative consequences. This routine built trust and helped her articulate her emotions more effectively over time.

  This principle translates to fostering open and honest communication during team meetings, actively soliciting feedback, and ensuring that all voices are heard, regardless of hierarchy. For example, during a high-stakes project, a leader I respected introduced a practice called "escalation is not defeat," modeled after the principles of chitty-chatty time. Invoking this practice created a safe space for team members to brainstorm solutions without fear of failure or the constraints of traditional roles. It provided an opportunity to collectively address challenges and find innovative paths forward, ultimately enhancing collaboration and trust across the team.

Final Thoughts

Parenting has been one of my greatest teachers in navigating ambiguous organizations. It has shown me the power of patience, empathy, and adaptability. Both roles require balancing structure and flexibility, guiding others through uncertainty, and embracing imperfection as a natural part of growth.

No organization is perfect, just as no family is. Success lies not in achieving an ideal but in building the skills, relationships, and mindset to navigate challenges gracefully and resiliently. Applying the lessons I’ve learned as a parent to my professional life, I’ve found new ways to lead with clarity, compassion, and purpose.